30 Years, 30 Lessons

And who knows how many more years will pass until you’re able to understand and take advantage of these lessons your father has learned.

Nevertheless, I leave you with these 30 lessons. They will make your life easy. Building wealth is easy. Having healthy relationships is easy. And getting what you want (one of the greatest pleasures of life) is easy.

Some of these lessons will sound harsh, but the world is like that. If it were up to me, everything would be happy, colorful, and worry-free. But it’s not. There are truly some terrible people out there in this world, but they are not guilty of it; most of it comes from ignorance and their lack of self-awareness.

That doesn’t really matter though, as the easiest way to deal with the wretched is by eliminating them from your life, oftentimes, ruthlessly. Do not feel bad about it, as your happiness is the most important thing in this world.

So you must confront life with the harshness and ruthlessness it often requires.

Anyway, without further ado…

I’m (almost) 30 now, and here are the 30 most important things I’ve learned up to June 28th, 2022. Start date: June 2020.

1. Surround yourself with like-minded people, those who celebrate when you win, and those who believe in you and your dreams.

Artistic, creative types see the world as an open door because they have an open brain; thus, they might fall prey to vermin-filled normie opinions very easily.

As an artistic type, you might begin to question your own reality and start believing the normies.

To stop believing in yourself is worse than being dead.

If you want to be a success (whatever that means to you), you must surround yourself with people who believe in you. People who get as excited as you about your dreams. People who see the value in you. People who will also have dreams of their own.

And these people are usually people who think like you do. If someone belittles you and your dreams, they don’t deserve to be in your life. If all interactions with someone leave you feeling like shit, you’ve got to knock that deadwood from your life.

Do not associate with those who are unhappy to their core.

Those who don’t believe in anything: success, god, creed, philosophy, the power of mind. Here’s a quote from Robert Greene’s The 48 Laws of Power:

You can die from someone else's misery – emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

There is no limit to happy, trustworthy, loyal peers who will bring you joy and fortune. Seek them always. For a happy life, ruthlessly knock the deadwood out of your life.

2. If something works, you’ll know very quickly. If something doesn’t work, you will know very quickly.

Be wary of life’s own signals and know when to give up. If something is going to work, it’ll work from its inception.

Be perspicacious, and listen to your gut.

If a business is going to work, you’ll hear the cash register sound very early on. If a relationship is going to fail, your senses will tell you early on. The struggle myth and the hard work myth are B.S. They are toxic. There are challenges in life. There are challenges in everything that’s worth it, of course, and most things that are good will not be easy to come by.

Here's the difference: Constant misery is NOT a challenge. Only things that start with a positive feedback loop are bound to take off and give you happiness in the long term.

If your business, relationship, venture, or whatever you embark on in this life feels like MISERY and EATS YOU from within from day one, it’s not going to turn around.

Be smart and wise enough to know what works and know what doesn’t work. Be humble enough to accept your failures and brave enough to not give up and try something else. Know when to give up, and most importantly, know that success (or failure) is not really important. What’s important is what you’ve learned, and how you’ll use that to your advantage.

3. Disregard people who belittle you, as the average losers that they are. When a “normie” puts you down, they’re merely projecting their own insecurity and incapability of achieving the amazing things they see you capable of achieving.

Most people on this planet are inherently mean and selfish. There is no greater pleasure for most people than to crush your dreams. These people who enjoy these kinds of limiting actions shall be referred to as normies, and that’s what they are indeed.

Comfortably sitting in the middle of the bell curve. They watch and belittle those whom they automatically recognize as superior to themselves. It’s a survival mechanism. The average man’s goal is to make everyone who surrounds him average. Nothing better than average ever came from a “normie”.

4. Don’t trust anyone who says “I’m smart.”

I’ve come across many people at this point in life. At my many odd jobs, my work, school, and whatnot. I have met some brilliant people, and others not too fortunate. It’s the ones who are convinced they are smart that you should be wary of. I have identified one common indicator of intelligence across all of them. It’s a sort of intellectual humility. I have never seen a smart person who automatically closes off to unknown ideas. Intellectuals are eternally curious and open. Almost doubting themselves constantly.

5. Death to the enemies of life.

Not literally, but silence them. Ignore them. Disregard them. As I have come to define them, the enemies of life are those devoid of any meaning and/or moral value. Those who belittle grandeur, those who are belligerent for no reason. Those who enjoy seeing others suffer. Mean-willed, soulless individuals, victims of their own circumstances. Those who are completely blind to how the world reacts around them, and how they create their own situations. Those who constantly blame others for their own misfortune.

Fight injustice, immorality, and envy with all your guts. Rebel and crush what you know is wicked and not constructive towards life. Stand up to that which is not holy.

6. Ask, and you shall receive.

And don’t be afraid. I have gotten everything I wanted by the simple act of asking and acting upon my desires. There is basically no limit to the number of things you can achieve by simply asking. Fortune favors the bold.

7. You must cultivate your own garden. “Il faut cultiver notre jardin.”

Do not waste your energy on futile things that you cannot control. Do not worry about politics, the economy, and other distractions, as these are nothing but bread and circuses designed to misguide the masses and weaken the individual.

At all times, cultivate your own garden. Improve your own craft and your own art – art being whatever soothes your soul. Do not protest, do not care. Politics and public affairs have never been for the benefit of men nor will they benefit you and me.

Here’s a quote from Voltaire’s Candide that changed my life:

“I do not know,” answered the worthy man, “and I have not known the name of any Mufti, nor of any Vizier. I am entirely ignorant of the event you mention; I presume in general that they who meddle with the administration of public affairs die sometimes miserably and that they deserve it; but I never trouble my head about what is transacting at Constantinople; I content myself with sending there for sale the fruits of the garden which I cultivate.”

8. Work alone – find your own path of greatness.

Teamwork is generated by those who are incapable of greatness. It is highly individual intelligence and dedication that can achieve greatness. Great ideas are the product of the individual, never a committee. While it’s true that you cannot build a cathedral with a shovel all by yourself, the most important part, designing it, can only be done by yourself.

Filippo Brunelleschi is the only person mentioned when it comes to who is responsible for the great Florentine Dome. You will never find a statue of a group of people anywhere, but you will find many statues of individuals. All great things are thought of by one man or woman. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Down with committees (as Ogilvy would say).

To achieve great things, follow your own way. Your own systems, your beliefs. Not anyone else’s.

The capacity to be alone is one of the most distinctive marks of a highly intellectual being.

Arthur Schopenhauer

9. If you want to sell, you cannot talk down to people.

You cannot talk down to people about their business or product when you’re selling. You might find a perfect opportunity to sell your products and services – that will in fact benefit your prospect tremendously – BUT if you go down the road of finding everything that’s wrong in your prospect’s business, and let him or her KNOW… you can be sure that’s a sale you won’t close.

When you want to convince someone to do something, never mention the negatives; focus on the gains.

10. If you ever find yourself on the side of the majority, revise yourself immediately.

Without mercy. The first culprit: everybody drinks; thus, everybody is mediocre and powerless over their outcomes. Nobody takes care of the body, thus the average person does not have six-pack abs and is a fat, lazy slob. Nobody substitutes play for work; that’s why everybody is a wage slave. When you find yourself on the side of the majority, you are most certainly on the wrong side. Your self-examination should be relentless.

11. Be wary of things that have become acceptable social norms.

In my time it was the whole racism, LGBT, cultural Marxism “Woke” bullshit that plagued Western civilization. I’m eager to see what it will be like in your time. For collectives are never based on rationality and/or logical processes but on the agenda of those who can control information.

12. The man who becomes wealthy becomes wealthy for life, for wealth is a mindset.

Getting wealthy is easy. Find a market where nobody in this world can be better than you. Put yourself out there, and fill that need in the marketplace.

Once you become established in your field, you will always have demand, and your skill will be eternally profitable (until you die or a new technology completely replaces you).

After you “unlock” wealth, they can take everything away from you and you won’t care. You’ll have no problem getting everything back.

In my case, that wealth-unlocking event was coming across and studying a field called “direct response marketing”. After I studied Gary Halbert, David Ogilvy, Eugene Schwartz, and Claude Hopkins, I never worked another day in my life.

13. When it comes to building great things and achieving great things – mind the journey and have fun; otherwise, you’ll never reach the destination, or you’ll be bound for disappointment.

As I write this in May of 2022, I’m working with a pet food company in the United Kingdom. A boardroom-manufactured brand. The founders are set on the exit, the grand acquisition, but I seriously doubt it will happen, because when you focus on the exit, you’re not focused on the day-to-day things that are truly important.

You’re stressed and worried about the outcome of things, rather than doing them for their own sake. I will let you know how this pet food company did when you’re born.

Keep yourself apart from the outcomes. Success or failure – what really matters is what you’ve learned. Love your fate; be extremely happy with it. You will feel delusional, but that’s how it should be.

Our biggest tragedies are our biggest blessings, because they present us with our biggest vulnerabilities, our biggest weaknesses – and they impress upon us, very clearly, what we must conquer in order to proceed on our path.

14. Work kills. You don’t want to work. You want to play. Do not be a slave.

To be the very best, do work that feels like play to you. It will seem like hard work to others, but for you, it's nothing but entertainment. You completely disregard the outcome because you do the work for its own sake. You are an artist, a creative, an intellectual. This stress-free state is the only way in which you can achieve magnum opuses, time after time.

Men fall into two groups: slaves and free men. Whoever doesn’t have two-thirds of his day for himself is a slave, whatever he may be: a statesman, a businessman, an official, or a scholar.

Nietzsche

15. Extreme habits yield extreme results. It is impossible to be any better than average by being average.

Working (smart and hard) 16 hours a day for 7 days straight to build vast systems of wealth. Eating once a day to get the lowest body fat possible. Cutting sugar and fruit (except berries) to get the best possible metabolic state. Squatting and deadlifting heavy weights on a biweekly basis. Not going out every night. Not drinking. Not doing drugs… will all be seen as extreme measures by the common man… but to those who seek greatness, there is no other way than to be seen as an “extremist”.

16. The easiest way to get anything you want.

Getting anything you want is easy. Just appeal to self-interest. My profession as an advertiser, in short, is merely investigating what people want or need and positioning the products I sell as the solution or fulfillment of their desire.

Get their attention, show them you have something they want, prove it, persuade them, and ask for action.

Never forget this fact: people only care about themselves. As an advertiser, I have learned this the hard way. Nobody cares about what you have to offer; they care about what it will do for them.

There are only two motives for action: fear and self-interest. When seeking help, also appeal to self-interest.

Analyze your own behavior and decisions, and use this to your advantage when trying to get something out of someone.

The best way to get what you want is by deserving it. This means: be of value, and you’ll always get what you want.

17. What is considered “good” might not necessarily be good for you.

Three meals a day, meditation, and one glass of wine per day would normally be considered “good”. Some people feel better by skipping breakfast, others by moving – as opposed to meditating. Always do what works for you, as you are a unique individual with your own brain chemistry, skill set, and personality. There are no universal mandates for happiness. Find your own. Always follow your own way.

18. Do not hold resentment: it is a sign of weakness and resistance. A great man doesn’t hold grudges. He lets go and carries on with his life of glory.

Avoid holding resentments: To be incapable of taking one’s enemies, one’s accidents, even one’s misdeeds seriously for very long – that is the sign of strong, full natures in whom there is an excess of the power to form, to mold, to recuperate and to forget.

Nietzsche

Let me tell you something… The easiest way to live without resentment is by not letting it grow in the first place. Take the immediate and necessary steps against those who wrong you, and afterward, move on, forget, and do not hold any resentment.

By not tolerating what you know is wrong, by not putting up with things that you know are wrong (abuse, injustice), and by taking the necessary steps IN THE MOMENT – while remaining assertive – resentment will have no soil in which to grow.

And if you weren’t able to take the steps when you should’ve… Simply let go and surrender. Resentment is poison. It’s a response of the ego. Do not give in, as it’s a lowly state of awareness. Always operate from a higher state of consciousness.

Resentment is a form of resistance. It’s an aversion to the higher states of consciousness.

Forgive, clean up, and let go. Do justice, but do not cling to the past. Forgive yourself.

19. Blood is not debt.

I will do my best to make your family the strongest pillar in your life. I will give you safety, support, love, and security. If, by some misfortunate event, it doesn’t end up this way, let me tell you that blood is not debt.

God forbid that I, your mother, or any of your siblings become misfortunate beings that only put you down, slow you down, or make you unhappy. And if we do, do not be afraid. Have the tremendous valor required to confront us, or to cut us out of your life completely should it be necessary. It is my greatest joy in life to see you happy and to see you become the best version of yourself. So if we become deadwood, knock us out.

20. Nothing is free.

There is no free lunch, as they say. Think before accepting a gift, a lunch. What is this person expecting out of me? And decide for yourself if it's a debt you can bear. Again, here is Robert Greene:

What is offered for free is dangerous – it usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation. What has worth is worth paying for. By paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit. It is also often wise to pay the full price – there is no cutting corners with excellence. Be lavish with your money and keep it circulating, for generosity is a sign and a magnet for power.

21. The defense of your freedom is the ultimate sign of the wise, extraordinary man.

Freedom of speech is the cornerstone of civilization. If it were not for freedom of speech, we would still be under the rule of kings and emperors or the strongest Neanderthal in the tribe.

We would be slaves. The modern world is built by the men who said “ENOUGH”. The human species was advanced by men who said ENOUGH. The men who were courageous enough (and often met death as a result) to question the status quo and introduce new ideas. People like us (I dare to include myself) are often put down by society. We are too discomforted by the mediocrity of tradition. We are dangerous.

Do not take your FREEDOM for granted, as it is built on a state of constant revolution.

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.

Albert Camus

22. Live without fear.

Do not fear anything or anyone who doesn’t have a gun pointed at your head. As long as you’re not committing a crime, you’re not liable to anyone. Do not explain yourself; do not defend your innocence when you are not guilty.

23. What’s yours is yours.

Do not chase things. Do not chase money, girls, or friends. What you chase will run away from you. It’s a crazy reality of life that seems almost esoteric. When you chase, people can smell desperation and weakness. The worst smell in life is the reek of desperation: to be liked, to be loved.

That which belongs to you will come to you. Those who like you will like you. Don’t force things. Focus on your work, on your life, on improving yourself constantly, and most importantly, be yourself.

24. Find your meaning in life.

To live a happy life, you must find meaning.

What is YOUR meaning? I believe that everyone has an innate talent. It’s really easy to find. Just ask yourself: What am I good at? What would I work on for its own sake? And there you’ll find your meaning.

When you live with meaning, life is easy, work is easy, and wealth is easy. You will never be bored.

Find your meaning, and then follow your wildest dreams. Follow your greater purpose.

25. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert.

I don’t know how you’ll turn out, but if you turn out to be an introvert, like me, you’ll be made to feel awkward about it. You might hear all sorts of names. “The mute” or “the weirdo.” You can tell them to go fuck themselves. You have my blessing and my permission.

26. Be yourself at all times, no matter the cost. Stay true to yourself and always speak your mind.

Disregard outside opinions of your personality. If you’re quiet, stay quiet. If you don’t like to see people, stay alone. If a part of your personality feels good to you, and it doesn’t harm anybody, stay true to yourself.

Protect your sense of who YOU are in ANY relationship: business, romantic, friendships, even with your own father.

Repressing your emotions (and who you are) can lead to a disintegration of the self. If we repress our emotions, we damage the structure of our own psychological identity.

Always speak your mind, even if it leads to violence or discomfort.

We forget who we are, and this is, metaphorically, worse than death.

Silence is worse: all truths that are kept silent become poisonous.

Nietzsche

The most common form of despair is not being who you are.

Søren Kierkegaard

27. Be wary of your “friends”.

I learned this one a bit late in life. I blame the openness and unconditional trust I inherited from my mother. When I rationalized this learning, I was knocked off my feet.

Some people who hate you will befriend you. They will always be there for you, without any doubt or hesitation… to put you down. They will rejoice in your misfortune, envy your achievements, tell you who you are, your defects and faults, as a way of “helping you.”

Whenever you hang out with someone, ask yourself how you feel afterwards. Do you feel energized, positive, and ready to take on life? That’s probably a friend. Do you feel insecure? Do you feel like an outright mean person? It’s an enemy posing as a friend. Be ruthless about your well-being and about choosing who is worthy of your time and affection. Do not befriend those who hate you.

Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.

Matthew 7:6

28. Money is freedom.

I understood from a very young age that money was nothing but little tickets to freedom. Freedom to eat what I wanted, freedom to wake up at whatever time I wanted, to go to sleep at whatever time I wanted, to fly wherever I wanted, and most importantly, physically BE wherever I wanted. I personally never cared about clothes, cars, and other toys. But I always cared about doing what I wanted when I wanted.

School always felt a bit strange to me. Why am I in this place for 5 hours of my day, every weekday? I used to ask myself when I was a little boy wearing boots. My mom told me that at age 2 when I first went to school, my hair started falling out. Talk about a physiological predisposition.

I couldn’t wait to get out of school every day. It was always torture, but whenever school ended, I had some bad news coming to me. After school, you’d get a job, and do the same thing, not for 5 hours, but for 8.

29. There is no such thing as luck.

Victory awaits him who has everything in order – luck, some people call it.

R. Amundsen

Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.

Attributed to Seneca

Seems evident, no? You make your own luck. If you were fortunate to be born in a first-world country, you have won your lottery in life and do not need any more luck other than your own effort and preparation.

Life is what you make of it, and you’re the only one who chooses to be lucky. You attract what you give to the universe. Good fortune is merely the pay of dedication.

30. You CAN have everything you want in life. The only LIFE worth living… is the life that YOU WANT!

A very envious and sour person once said, “You cannot have everything in life.” Since mediocrity is the easiest and most effortless way to carry one’s life, this parable seems to have stuck in our culture and collective set of values forever.

This shit “nugget” of knowledge couldn’t be further away from the truth. If you want to be happy, you must eliminate this self-defeating Catholic guilt from your mindset.

You shall not feel guilty for having or being. You must be happy and accepting of your intellectual, moral, and physical wealth.

Life is what you make of it, and you can have everything. The perfect spouse, family, friends, work, vast amounts of wealth, knowledge, and morality. It’s all up to you.

Live to the point of tears: Follow your wildest dreams, and live intensely, because

Life is anything that you want.

You live, therefore you are.

And that’s it, my dear son. I hope you (and I will do my best) grow into a strong, limitless, self-aware man of high moral value.

Love, your dad.

Written in:

• June 2020, Madrid
• May 7, 2022, Lisbon
• May 16, 2022, Verona
• Sep 24, 2022, Sestri Levante
• Feb 14, 2023, Copenhagen